Updated: Sep 27, 2020
This Photo is way, way out of my comfort zone. OMG!!!! I can't believe I am posting it for the public to see. Yikes!!!!!!!!!!,
But, this is such an important step in my diet recovery. I used to think I have to weigh a certain amount to buy a bikini. I used to think I have to look a certain way to wear a bikini.
But, dieting only brought me further away from that goal. I am learning to like my body, well, I really should just say the truth: " I am trying to accept my body". I don't know If I will ever love all my cellulite and bulges. But, I am treating it well all of the time not just when I was doing good on my diet. I am now exercising and feeding it healthy and nutrient-packed food. Only when I was on a diet and doing "good" would I do those things. When I fell off my diet and was being bad, I would eat large amounts of junk food and not exercise. What a mind-shift I have had since starting Intuitive Eating.
I have given up the terrible dieting life, which only lowered my self-esteem and made me gain weight over the years.
I now exercise for the pure enjoyment of it and to get stronger, not to punish myself to lose weight. It is much more enjoyable now.
I am now adding in foods that will curb my appetite and lower my cholesterol. High fiber foods like beans, whole grains, nuts, fruits, and veggies will help with fat metabolism and make me feel fuller for longer. I eat sweets and junk food when I want, but not as often as before. I now ask myself before I eat:" How will my body feel after I eat this?" I really think about how I want to feel. I know eating a whole bag of candy will leave my blood sugar sky high and then it will drop rapidly. I will feel cranky and lightheaded, not fun.
I am now buying clothes that fit me well and are not too tight. I may have gone up a size since starting Intuitive Eating, but it is part of the process of my body healing and recovering from years of dieting. My metabolism has surely been lowered from my years of deprivation and overeating. By feeding my body when and what it needs to be fed, I hope my metabolism will recover eventually.
I am kind of freaking out about my weight gain. I went out and bought myself some larger and more comfortable clothes yesterday. I would have freaked out about buying larger clothes before Intuitive Eating. But I try not to concentrate on the sizes too much, I concentrate on how the clothes feel on my body.
I really am afraid of gaining all of my weight I had lost a few years back. But, I know that I got to that weight from years of dieting and falling off of diets and punishing myself with food (overeating.)
I have overcome emotional overeating since starting Intuitive Eating, I also eat fewer sweets now too. It is so amazing, the progress I have made. I can now keep previous "trigger" foods in the house and not be tempted to overeat them. I thought that would be impossible before Intuitive Eating. Yesssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am kind and compassionate with myself now also. I know I will never get up to my highest weight again. I need to trust the process of Intuitive Eating, my body knows what it needs. No diet can tell me that. I am learning to love where I am now, I am right where I should be.