Updated: Sep 27, 2020
Throwing In The Towel
So, I have been struggling with my weight since I was 11 years old. Dieting, losing weight and gaining it back and then some. My extra weight has held me back so much in my life. I left high school because of my social anxiety and my extra weight was always in the forefront of my mind. Everyone else was so skinny and I felt so fat. I felt like I was not as good as the other girls. I had no social life in my teens and twenties. I kept myself isolated in my room, thinking nobody would ever like me or let alone want to ever date me. I would go to work then come home and eat and isolate for years. I was miserable and gaining weight by the day. Not a very happy time for me.
So, I have been in this weight loss battle for most of my life. About a year and a half ago I lost 25 lbs, wel, l it has taken me since July of 2017 to lose 25 lbs. I have been on a plateau for the last 5 months. I work my butt off working out and resisting overeating, so over this past weekend I was just at the breaking point. I was ready to throw in the towel and give up my healthy lifestyle and my health coaching dreams. But, I know what will happen if I give up my dreams; my dreams of losing weight and helping other women do the same.
I will go back to overeating again and get down on myself for letting myself go. I will go back to being in such a severe depression that I will not be able to work. I was at that point years ago, when I was not taking care of myself physically and mentally and I could not work at my nursing job. I was at the point of filing for disability due to my depression. But, I know that giving into my depression and my hopelessness, that I would not live the life I wanted. I did not want to depend on the government to take care of me. I did not want to just settle and stay comfortable in my room for the rest of my life. Yes, I would be safe and free from my anxiety in my tiny world, but that is not how I wanted my life to play out.
So, I know what the alternative of giving up on myself entails. It is not pretty; I would have to give up on my dream of helping other women who struggle with weight and self confidence issues. I would give up on being my best self and I would just be settling for a mediocre existence; I am made for more.
So, before you throw in the towel on your dreams, think long and hard about what your life will look like if you do give up and then make your decision. I hope you stay strong and know you are worthy of your dreams coming true.