Comparing Is Deadly

Updated: Sep 27, 2020

We all do it, you know you do. Comparing yourself to other people. When I look at another women who is beautiful or thinner than I am, I admit I do get jealous. While in aerobics class this morning, this pretty, thin woman with perfect nails and hair was next to me. Boy, for a minute I felt inadequate. I was thinking boy, I wish I was like her, she has the perfect body and I bet her life is perfect.

But in reality, I have no idea about this lady and who she is. What is her life like? Maybe she has an abusive husband? maybe she has a drug problem? Maybe she has a child struggling with cancer? Maybe she has money problems? Maybe she has bulimia? I just don't know.

We don't really know what people's lives are like and what they are going through. Just because they look "perfect" on the outside, does not mean they are perfect on the inside.

Then I turned my thinking around and named all the good things that I am grateful for: for my loving husband, for my job, for my healthy son, for my healthy body and for my sense of safety. I would take my life and my minor problems over this lady's possible problems any day. I have no idea what she faces when she goes home.

When I went through this exercise I felt better at the end. I know my body does not look like hers and probably never will. But, I have come so far in my health journey. I have not lost as much weight as I would like yet, but I am making progress everyday. Maybe I will never get to my goal weight, who knows. I think I might have to be accepting of that possibility. Weight is only a number, it does not define health. There are many factors that have to be taken into account when defining health. I am gaining endurance during my exercising, I am gaining muscle when I lift weights and I am nourishing my body when I eat nutrient dense food. I am feeding my mind positive thoughts when I am grateful for what I have and when I invite good into my life for the future. My body might not be perfect, but guess what ? it does not have to be. God made me perfect in his eyes. By dieting for so many years, I gained so much weight trying to attain the perfect body. I wanted to be as thin as the other girls I saw on TV and in school. I now know dieting does not work and I am living as healthy as I can be. I am focusing on healthy behaviors and most importantly self loving behaviors. My life changed when I started to love and accept myself. I am still working on accepting my body as it is and it is a process.

So, when you are jealous of another person, be grateful for what you have. Because you really have no clue as to what that other person has going on in their life.

You are perfect, whole and complete and I think you are beautiful.

Big hugs,


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